Shared with me and just had to add it to my journal
Have you ever had your heart broken? And I don’t mean just stomped on – I mean REALLY broken. Well, I have. And let me tell you – it sucks.
The first 24 hours suck. You feel nauseated. You can’t eat. You can’t sleep. You cry. Your nose runs. Your face breaks out. You avoid mirrors, and therefore the bathroom (so it’s likely that you don’t even shower). You freeze your ass off even if it’s 90 degrees outside. You ignore your phone when it rings. Unless, of course, it’s “the heartbreaker” calling. When “the heartbreaker calls,” you leap from the bed with an energy you’ve never seen before. You race to the phone in hopes that there has been a change of heart. Of course, there never is…
The first week is really no better. You make CDs full of depressing songs, like Nickelback’s “This is how you remind me” or Lenny Kravitz’s “Again.” You listen to them over and over and over again. Of course, these songs only make you feel shittier (if that’s even a word). You replay your last few days together in your head to try to figure out what you screwed up. You drink more than usual, and eat a lot less. You can sleep all day, but oddly enough find yourself unable to sleep at night. You cry at work. You avoid your dearest friends. You may even lash out at them if they try to help you. You get nauseated when you see a couple holding hands walking down the street.
Then you make it to week two, which is really no better. You contemplate sending back all the gifts “the heartbreaker” ever sent you. Thankfully, you have dear friends who convince you that doing so would be a bad idea. You still listen to the depressing CDs, you read all your old emails, texts, cards, and letters from “the heartbreaker.” You look at old pictures of the two of you together. Your roots are showing and you need a manicure and pedicure, but you don’t care. You convince yourself that you are all alone and that nobody loves you. You binge on ice cream, zingers, and coffee – anything with sugar or caffeine – just to stay awake. You stare blankly at your monitor at work. You can make it through the work day without any outbursts, but when you arrive at the empty dwelling that you call a home, you break down behind your closed door.
And then comes week three. By now, you are showing signs of anger. You stop focusing on everything that was “right” about the relationship, and zero in on everything that was wrong - and trust me, you will find more things that are wrong than right. You begin to feel a satisfying sense of hatred toward “the heartbreaker.” You are constantly pissed off. You hate the world and everything in it for that matter. You see happy people and you look for ways to make them miserable – after all, misery loves company. You drive like an asshole. You cut in front of people in line. You think the world would be a better place without you in it. You feel like everyone owes you something – and in a sense, they do – they owe you the right to grieve however your poor broken heart desires.
And then comes the beloved week four. You have no tears left to cry. You have alienated a few people with your tantrums and are ready to concede. You transition your CD collection to selections that are more upbeat – like Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping.” You meet your friends out after work, and they remind you that it’s “the heartreaker’s” loss, not yours – and somehow you actually agree with them. You are grateful that “the heartbreaker” dumped you so early in the summer; you are a size 1 now as a result of the loss of appetite and you have only “the heartbreaker” to thank. You look great in your bikini. You get your hair cut and colored. You go to the spa for that much needed manicure and pedicure, and you throw in a facial for that added “boost.” You look great. You feel great. You notice people noticing you, and finally you remember why “the heartbreaker” fell for you in the first place.
And there you sit, on cloud 9, waiting until the next “heartbreaker” comes along (and the cycle begins all over again).
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
busy
curious
angry
aggravated
sleepy
chipper
cynical
tired
energetic
confused
